Faith, Family and Farm Boys

This semester is about to close out and that means only one semester remains and I will be done with school. (at least until I start the Doctor of Ministry Program, but that is three years from now) The completion of school means that I can go anywhere I want. Literally, my wife and I are facing the possibility of going anywhere in the world.

I never anticipated the thrill, and weight, of knowing that I can live in any country in the world and still do ministry. Wwith that comes the pull of three priorities in my life, faith, family, and farm boy.

In faith I say in my heart, "Wherever He leads I'll go." So far in my marriage that has been the case and he has always led. When he said go, we went, when he said stay we have stayed. God has always been right on time and right on target. (As if we would expect anything else.) I have never had to look for a job in ministry, ever. All the positions I have had God brought to me without even a glimmer of expectancy in my mind. They were all out of the blue. I knew what I wanted to do but didn't have any idea where I would do it. Funny, I am in the same boat once again. And I can be assured that God will lead, once again. He has never failed in the past, so why will He fail now? He won't.

Then there is my family. When it was just Ann and me, the jungles of the Congo would have worked just fine, or New York, or Sweetwater Texas for that matter. It was just the two of us and anywhere would be perfect. But now there are four of us, and it is my responsibility as a father and husband to make sure, no matter what, they are taken care of. One, not so hard, four, a little more demanding. Where my family goes now entails the safety of my sons. The care for there well being and the provision for there rearing. The possibility of little time with Grandma and Grandpa, which I so enjoyed as a boy and became much of who I am today, is not a possible reality I am excited about. The sacrifice of self is one thing, the sacrifice of your children's possibilities that is totally another. I find myself, standing in the spiritual shoes of Abraham. How he ever had the faith to raise the knife, I must admit I do not know. Yet I long in my heart to trust my Lord with my sons the way Abraham trusted God with his. Faith now pushes its way back in the picture and strongly proclaims the Lord knows better than I the environment and place my children need in order to produce the men of God he desires.

Then comes farm boys. I must admit I turn to country music often to go back to the days riding the tractor in the summers singing as loud as I wanted, while pulling the disc, because no one else could hear me anyway. Or the rides with dad out in the pasture to count cows again. The past of the country life beckons my desires with every opportunity to venture into a ministry position. It is so much a part of who I am, I find it hard sometimes to think that that may not be a part of who my boys are. Maybe it is the father wanting to live his boyhood again through his sons, but I do not think that is the case. There is much to be learned from country life and the ways of the farm, a root that is embedded in the heart of every farm boy, a longing to return to the pond to fish one more time, or to squish your toes in the freshly plowed dirt, or the scent of diesel fuel, or to just go outside and smell the rain coming from an afternoon thunderstorm without having a neighbor looking at you through his window because he is 10 feet away. But such are days gone by. It is this pull from yester year that encroaches on decisions and choices. Can I have that again and still do the will of God or does He desire something different. Does the new creation for me include a foreign culture, or the opportunity to go back to what I have always known. Again faith beckons a response, a trust in the Father.

Who is my family and what is my past? It is clear they are who I am, but are they all I will ever be? Does God have something more? Does God not want to take who I am and pass it on to my boys and then build upon that to do far more through them than is possible through me? Again faith beckons and calls as God says, "Trust. Trust me. I have never failed you before."

God knows what is best. Engraved in my wife's wedding ring is Romans 8:28 to which we have committed, knowing that it is absolute truth. However, engravings in wedding bands mean nothing without action. So what are we to do?

Wait. Wait upon the Lord.

In the wilderness, I shall not grumble for what I had nor worry about what I have, I will believe the promise for a better home, a land flowing with milk and honey. Too much attachment to this life will render me helpless and useless in the kingdom of God. This life is fading, the real life is seated at the right hand of the Father. How can I, who 20 years ago, said yes Lord, now after growing say no. If my Savior can say "not my will but yours be done" in the face of the cross, I must say, "Lord this is what I desire, but not my will yours be done."

Awaiting marching orders, dave m.